There Isn’t a Father’s Day in Space

It’s been a big month in cinema for dads so this weekend was celebrated by getting drunk in movie theaters.

Alien Covenant surprised no one by being super boring and not making sense. Fuck you, Ridley. That’s not even a real name.

While Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was a roller coaster of emotion. Laughter, fear, Baby Groot. Sara cried.

With Great Boredom Comes Great Responsibility

What would you do with super powers?

Mowgli and Sara ponder this question and ultimately decide powers aren’t good for much other than theft.

They never even address the idea of using their powers for good.

Fantastic Communism

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Sara and Mowgli begin discussing the new movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but are quickly derailed. Like more quickly than usual.

Sara wants to live in some kind of Libertarian-Socialist Wonderland and Mowgli is understandably skeptical.

Feeling Bernt Part I

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Mowgli and Sara are mad, but they’re not stressin’.

It only took a moment to reconcile the confusion of a Trump presidency – it’s unfair to write off all of his supporters as dumb racists, but it’s completely reasonable to hold the Democratic party responsible for their spectacular failure.

Upset about the election and want to move? Go live in a red state and run for Congress.

I Fuck in a Bed Like an Adult (with special guests Jess, Veronica, and Fred)

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The gang is here to help you get laid.

Mowgli muses on how the Sith pick up chicks. It starts with force choking and ends with rape. Quicksilver/Flash has a similar tactic: Running around raping people too quickly for them to notice they’ve been violated.

Sara shares handy dating tips if you find yourself walking down a dark alley with a potential mate or if you want to fuck a sheep (the right way).

Nice Nips, Sugar Tush!

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It’s not fair that men get to have all the fun of yelling at strangers, so Sara is going to try her hand at catcalling. But first she and Mowgli have to figure out what to say.

Whether it’s for a social experiment or getting laid is irrelevant.

Dice Rollers

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Cartoons are the best way to motivate 90’s kids and after watching HarmonQuest, Sara and Mowgli decided to blow the dust off their dice and play Dungeons & Dragons again.

Sara’s going to be DMing a short session so she’s giving Mowgli a summary of what they’ll be doing and the characters they’ll be doing it to.

If all goes well, we’re planning to do a Vampire: The Masquerade game and Sara’s going to try to convince people to do an Animorphs campaign with her.

Suicide Gods

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Suicide Squad didn’t make any fucking sense, but at least we got drunk.

The acting was adequate, fight scenes were blah, Enchantress wiggled a bunch, and we’re not entirely sure what the plot was.

(The government needed deniability so they gathered up a bunch of villains, but during that process one of them escapes and…acts like a villain. To maintain deniability, the government sends in its troops and helicopters – oh yeah, and those villains – to fight Putties and blow up the mess it created. Right?)

If you have a problem with Jared Leto’s Joker, don’t worry about it; he’s only in the movie for about three minutes.

Also, Mowgli regales Sara with bible stories.