The Last Time We’ll Let Ourselves Get So Excited Over New Star Wars

The Force Awakens was a fun homage to A New Hope that did a fine job kicking off this new Star Wars trilogy. It introduced new characters, serviced fans with old characters, and set up new mysteries within the series.

The Last Jedi made no attempt to solve these mysteries (who’s Snoke? What’s Rey’s lineage?) and barely addressed them at all.

Mowgli and Sara went into this movie with high hopes but were left confused, angry, and with more questions than answers. Still going to see Episode IX when it comes out, obviously.

Fucking Disney.

There Isn’t a Father’s Day in Space

It’s been a big month in cinema for dads so this weekend was celebrated by getting drunk in movie theaters.

Alien Covenant surprised no one by being super boring and not making sense. Fuck you, Ridley. That’s not even a real name.

While Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was a roller coaster of emotion. Laughter, fear, Baby Groot. Sara cried.

Fantastic Communism


Sara and Mowgli begin discussing the new movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but are quickly derailed. Like more quickly than usual.

Sara wants to live in some kind of Libertarian-Socialist Wonderland and Mowgli is understandably skeptical.

Suicide Gods


Suicide Squad didn’t make any fucking sense, but at least we got drunk.

The acting was adequate, fight scenes were blah, Enchantress wiggled a bunch, and we’re not entirely sure what the plot was.

(The government needed deniability so they gathered up a bunch of villains, but during that process one of them escapes and…acts like a villain. To maintain deniability, the government sends in its troops and helicopters – oh yeah, and those villains – to fight Putties and blow up the mess it created. Right?)

If you have a problem with Jared Leto’s Joker, don’t worry about it; he’s only in the movie for about three minutes.

Also, Mowgli regales Sara with bible stories.

Celebrity Deathmatch (with special guest Johnny)


Our dear friend Johnny kept us on track with a number of topics which was helpful because Mowgli and Sara were pretty trashed.

In a fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock, Mowgli and Sara agree that The Rock’s size would be no match for Vin Diesel’s MMA and Muay Thai training. Johnny thinks that’s crazy.

(Vin Diesel would destroy The Rock)

He also thinks it’s crazy that Sara hates Jack Nicholson.

The conversation is rounded out nicely with a short discussion about racism thanks to our trusty racial injustice calendar.

Batman and Supeman vs My Patience (with special guest Fred)


We just saw Dawn of Justice.

Mowgli and Fred fucking hated it.

Sara enjoys being confused so she was down.