Celebrity Deathmatch (with special guest Johnny)

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Our dear friend Johnny kept us on track with a number of topics which was helpful because Mowgli and Sara were pretty trashed.

In a fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock, Mowgli and Sara agree that The Rock’s size would be no match for Vin Diesel’s MMA and Muay Thai training. Johnny thinks that’s crazy.

(Vin Diesel would destroy The Rock)

He also thinks it’s crazy that Sara hates Jack Nicholson.

The conversation is rounded out nicely with a short discussion about racism thanks to our trusty racial injustice calendar.

Captain America: The Original Libertarian

Iron Man: We’re murdering a fuck ton of civilians, we need regulation.

Captain America: Get your government hands off my superhuman enhancements!

Iron Man: Bruh. The government is what enhanced you in the first place.

Cap: I love you, Bucky! Never let go!

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Despite not being like the comic hardly at all, Civil War was wildly entertaining. Action scenes were amazing, Bucky was angstier than a sixteen year old goth, and this movie will totally revive the Spider-Man franchise.

Grievances:

  • Baron Zemo wasn’t really Baron Zemo, he was just some butthurt Sokovian
  • No concrete arguments were given for opposing registration
  • No Stamford Incident (and therefore no Penance, the best comic book character ever)
  • Needed more death

Good on them for making Redwing a robot; Falcon’s psychic link to birds is ridiculous.

 

Trigger Warning! (with special guest Sarah)

Yeah, our housemate’s name is also Sara(h). Mowgli was really happy he didn’t have to learn a new name.

While we do discuss trigger warnings, we mostly just talk about rape.

Mowgli and Sara realize they attract certain types of people.

Is that a bottle in your vagina or are you just happy to see me? (with special guest Mychael)

We start off with a couple surprisingly coherent thoughts on eugenics, but it swiftly devolves to autism and vaginas.

A Sleepy Sunday Afternoon

After spending all weekend drinking with our newly married buddy we just want to watch DB Super, jerk off, and go to sleep.

Kind of a DB Super spoiler (Goku goes fucking HAM on Hit), but in all honesty you deserve it if you’re not caught up by now.

Batman and Supeman vs My Patience (with special guest Fred)

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We just saw Dawn of Justice.

Mowgli and Fred fucking hated it.

Sara enjoys being confused so she was down.